I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
