i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
