and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
