If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
