I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
