You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't turn off my feet"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
