so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
