it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
