dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
