her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
