I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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