Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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