Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
