he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
