btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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