so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
