is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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