dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
