Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
