i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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