i already hear my dad disowning me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
