There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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