She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
