Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
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