and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
