I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Every concussion has its silver lining
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
