I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
