im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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