I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
