This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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