it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
