Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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