I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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