when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
