worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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