He told me they were just razor bumps!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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