The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
