Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
