no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
