Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
