Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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