So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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