I could have mohawked her pubes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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