a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
