oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
