Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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