I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
