i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
