Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My pussy is not your playground.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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