My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
