my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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