as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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