he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
