We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
